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Health vigilantes are trying to persuade ministers to put horror warnings on bottles of chardonnay and cans of ale to scare off drinkers. The government’s NHS 10-year plan published last week promises mandatory messages about alcohol causing cancer and dementia.

Obviously, they’ll need to be suitably shocking so we drinkers can spot them early in a session, while we can still focus on the receptacle holding our booze. I know the experts claim that the introduction of pictures of cancer-riddled lungs on fag packets was meant to have put off a few smokers but I suspect the drop is more to do with the popularity of vaping.

I don’t smoke but I have found this do-gooder social engineering irritating in the past. A few years ago, a watchdog brought in financial vulnerability checks if gamblers lost more than £150 a month (hold my beer).

As an inveterate punter, I of course struck up a £100 wager with a mate on who could get one first. Good work.

Anyhow, back to the booze.

No doubt these cautions will be particularly directed at the clergy after revelations on drink-related activity at Bangor Cathedral (presumably their warning will be: Beware the holy spirits).

There priests and choristers enjoyed a drinking game dubbed the “seven last shots of Christ” to mark the last sentences Jesus said on the cross.

It appears prosecco was the particular poison of choice on these occasions where a “go to the pub for any reason culture” had allegedly taken hold.

The church even had the imagination to hold an Oktoberfest celebration in honour of the German beer festival where they blessed the kegs. You have to doff your mitre to that as a recruitment technique.

The Bangor boozefest, which has seen the Archbishop of Wales take immediate retirement, did see some high jinks.

But Jesus of course transformed water to wine so he can’t have been that against the odd tipple.

I am a believer in the Christian dogma of free will – that humans have the capacity to make their own decisions, for good or bad.

So it shouldn’t be the nanny-state spending a fortune to tell us what we can and can’t do. We know the risks – it’s up to us.


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