If you’ve spent a lot on your dream holiday, now is the perfect time to try and get a little more bang for your buck. If you’re staying in a hotel, it's natural to want to try and upgrade your room - but if you want the perks without the price tag you need to be mindful of how you’re asking.
Senior Psychologist John Eastman from Private Investigators UK says most people are going about it the wrong way — and could actually be damaging their chances by being too direct, entitled, or desperate. John said: “A lot of people assume confidence is the key to persuasion — but when it comes to service staff, likability trumps dominance every time. Hotel staff are trained to clock your mood and motives in seconds. If you come across as difficult, pushy, or transactional, they’re far less likely to bend the rules for you.”
To make the perfect ask, make sure you’re asking at the right time. Don’t try to approach staff when they are busy - wait until the crowds have died down.
It’s also very important to be charming and build rapport. A warm smile, polite tone and genuine small talk go a long way.
John said: “People are more likely to say yes to someone they feel connected to, even briefly.”
Ensure you word your question kindly too - avoid direct, demanding language such as ‘can i get an upgrade?’.
Instead, try something along the lines of ‘Excuse me, is there any chance there might be an upgrade available today?’.
Remember to remain polite even if you are turned down - if you’re genuinely appreciative of the staff, they may offer you other perks such as free breakfast or a late checkout.
As well as things to try, there are lots of behaviours you should avoid.
Do not ever try to name drop your status. John said: “Saying you’re a loyal customer or ‘I paid a lot for this’ doesn’t create goodwill — it creates resistance.
False sob stories or exaggerated issues are another red flag - staff will see right through you, and they won’t like what they see.
If you are trying your luck for an upgrade, give the staff your full attention. Don't ask while distracted or on your phone. John said: “You’re not forming any connection. It makes staff feel like you see them as an obstacle, not a person.”
