Lorraine Beavers, the estimable member for Blackpool North and Fleetwood, who usually looks like she’s just walked out of a Sex Pistols’ gig, talked in PMQ’s today of “toxic stenches causing nosebleeds, headaches and vomiting.” Surprisingly she wasn’t talking about our Honourable Members but she might well have been, such were the half-truths, feints, and outright lies which passed for Parliamentary answers today.
But first, Kemi Badenoch. Good grief I wanted to stab myself in the eye repeatedly, tear out my hair and bang my head against the desk as the Conservative leader once more missed an open goal and actually kicked the ball the other way. Do you know what everyone is talking about today Kemi? Immigration.
Do you know what is the only political issue which hits home with every single member of the electorate today Kemi? Immigration.
Do you know the biggest problem Britain’s towns and cities and communities and infrastructure face today Kemi? Immigration.
Do you know the single issue which one party is using to annihilate the Conservative vote Kemi? Immigration.
So Kemi went in on… unemployment.
Which is exactly what her entire team of advisers should now be facing.
Unemployment. Literally who cares?
Employment figures go up, then they go down, then they go up… etc.
And we are currently running at 4.5%, up from 4.4% last month, and yes it’s all Rachel Reeves’ fault, and yes it is heading the wrong way. But 4.5% is far from a historical high, and well short of the EU average of 6.1%.
But the real problem is that it is seriously not what everyone is going to be talking about in the pub tonight, or indeed on its far less interesting modern equivalent social media.
It’s the immigration stupid.
The problem is - and I assume this is why she steered clear of Keir Starmer’s pitiful immigration White Paper announcement on Monday, which was a mix of hapless, lukewarm ideas and out and out lies (with a soupcon of Enoch Powell) - the Conservatives’ performance on tackling immigration was even more spineless than this lot.
But the skilful debater can frame a question which cuts the opposition to the quick while parrying any possible response.
In the end it was left to a courageous Welsh Plaid Cymru Liz Saville Roberts (Dwyfor Meirionnydd) to take up cudgels.
“The Prime Minister once spoke,” she said, “of dignity for migrants, for defending free movement - now he talks of an island of strangers and taking back control.”
Then she accurately asserted “someone has to call this out.” You might have thought that would be the Leader of the Opposition, but anyway…
She went on: “It seems the only principle he consistently defends is whichever he last heard in a focus group.
“I ask him, is there any belief he holds which survives a week in Downing Street.”
Starmer leapt to his feet and came as close to a snarl as I have ever witnessed from him snapping: “Yes, the belief that she talks rubbish.”
It was crass, rude, unparliamentary and laced with an ugly “pipe down little lady” sexism.
Rachel Reeves to his right brayed like a donkey.
Angela Rayner to his left sat stony-faced, she knows old-school sexism when she hears it.
Elsewhere we had the usual half-truths and gaslighting from the Labour side.
Rachel Taylor (Labour North Warwickshire and Bedworth) stood up and told us “when Labour negotiates workers win.”
And Keir repeatedly told us what an amazing deal he’d struck with the US “bringing down” the export tax on UK cars to 10%.
But of course before the negotiation it was 2.5%.
Hard to see that as a win isn’t it?
But that is this Labour Party all over - it’s not what they tell you, it’s what they hide from you.
It’s been the playbook of people with no real mandate to hold the reins of power since forever. And despite the general election results - the backlash election if there ever was one - this is definitely a party without the real mandate of the people.
