When my father announced he was "gonna be on the telly," we all recoiled in horror.
He's your typical Brit abroad, fond of a pint, a pie, and belting out Piano Man at karaoke - that should give you an idea of where he ended up...yes, you've guessed it, Alicante. Appearing on Channel 4's A Place in the Sun, my dad, Neil and stepmum, Jane shared with the host their dream of a relaxed Mediterranean lifestyle, joining the local tennis club (which we've yet to see) and immersing themselves in Spanish life.
However, ironically, the city experienced its worst wind and rain in nearly a century during filming for the series, with several umbrellas - and Jane's hair - struggling to survive against gale-force winds.
The plan was that they could "pop over" for a long weekend of golf and Sangria just a few hours away by plane, and be back at work on Monday without too much hassle - or expense.
Then, during the summer, they could visit for longer periods, with us children and grandchildren taking turns staying at the place, reports the Daily Star.
To the programme makers, their requirements were that it had to be large enough for the family and within walking distance of the beach.
So, after being shown around several properties in the area, they put in an offer on a three-bedroom house, our words echoing in their ears: "Don't be one of those annoying, time-wasting couples who have no intention of buying a property. You need to buy one so that we can all have cheap holidays."
Two years on, their sun-soaked property in the seaside town of Gran Alacant has truly become a home away from home. Located just a short 10-minute drive from the airport, the house has undergone recent renovations to comfortably accommodate eight people and boasts a patio, roof terrace, and access to a shared swimming pool.
Situated a stone's throw from the popular Masa Square, the area has become a haven for British expats who have swapped the UK for warmer climates without sacrificing their home comforts. Masa Square offers a range of amenities, including a traditional full English breakfast and roast dinner with all the trimmings.
The Belfry, a British-run pub, serves a delicious carvery with an impressive array of slow-cooked accompaniments.
The area is also known for its affordable drinks, including cheap pints and generously poured "holiday measure" spirits. The friendly staff at the local establishments have become familiar faces during their visits, and the atmosphere is welcoming even for fussy eaters.
While traditional Spanish dishes are also available, the area is more popular with tourists and expats than with local Spaniards.
As night falls, both Masa Square and the nearby Commercial Centre come alive with music and entertainment, including karaoke sessions that have been known to tempt even the most unlikely singers, like the author's dad, to take the stage. He's become quite the fixture at The Pub, often grabbing the mic from Scottish bar singer Kev for his own renditions of 'Copacabana' and 'Dignity' (the irony isn't lost on us), much to the delight of the patrons who seem to enjoy every minute.
He's even earned himself a bit of local fame and has started picking up Spanish, though it comes with a distinctive Scouse twang.
Alicante, not unlike its neighbour Benidorm, is a hotspot for British expats, sans the raucous stag and hen parties. "We've always wanted to escape the grey British weather and Alicante felt like the perfect place to start this next chapter," shared dad and Jane on the programme.
"We love that we can enjoy the sunshine while still having a bit of Britain with us, it's the best of both worlds."
Their appearance on the show catapulted them into local media limelight, with reports claiming they were "split" over their choice of house. With £110,000 in hand, presenter Leah Charles-King, donning a bright green suit that dad quipped "looked like a fruit salad."
After weighing up two strong options, they eventually chose the townhouse that's now dear to all of us. Its previous owner, another Brit looking towards retirement, had intended it as a long-term home.
The new Brexit regulations have clipped the wings of Brits abroad, limiting stays to just 90 days within any 180-day period without a visa.
However, for dad and Jane, the skies cleared for a sunny conclusion to their episode as they bagged a home - fully furnished - for the steal of £106,723.
Post-purchase, Jane gushed to the show: "I'm just blown away that we could get a whole house for our budget, I had only expected to get a flat."
It seemed like fate played its hand too, as the former owner had christened the abode "Casa Jaime."
The property acquisition was funded by an inheritance from Jane's mum Pearl, who tenderly referred to her as "Jai" leading to the renaming of their new Spanish nest to "Casa Jai" in her honour.
So, should you find yourself in Alicante and stumble upon them, best not to pester my dad for a song on the karaoke.